Campfire

Truth is stranger than fiction. My red t-shirt had this line printed in white. It was a normal t-shirt, nothing special. Just another red t-shirt. I don't even remember when I got it. But I do remember that it was my most favorite one, and I wore it for so long that it had holes in it. Still, I didn't want to throw that away cuz it was so comfy. My mom hid it twice, and I found it anyway. The third time, she used it to mop the floor so I cannot use it anymore. I didn't talk to her for a week. 

This was what running through my mind when I left the morgue. My red t-shirt. I thought, no Hollywood movies can create dead bodies that are ghastlier than this. I was trying to find a ghastly Hollywood movie in my head when my eyes were looking at my dad's body. He didn't have his boots. What kind of army officer doesn't have his boots on with uniform? Or were they taken after the shooting? Who knows. I just wanted the name of a horror movie. 

His eyes were not there. I mean, literally, he had no eyes. Instead, he had holes in his face. White worms were coming outside from those holes, some were going inside. The worms seemed happy. I guess, if you dig up a body after three days- this is what happens. The body starts to decompose. Did you ever smell a body like this? I hope you don't have to, never ever.  I don't really know why I always try to return to this particular moment. My brain has some images- but I don't really know what happened because I don't have any memory of it. Somehow I am trying to protect myself, but I don't really need protection. I can take care of myself.

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We were sitting around the campfire when I started feeling that. That feeling I feel when I am a little tipsy and around me, there are people I love. I feel the need to share the emptiness that I am carrying for over a hundred years. I have never told anyone about the feeling I felt when I saw the tank entering my area. Or the guilt, when I did'nt say anything to the crying woman even when I knew her husband is dead. I have never even tried to look at the pictures the newspapers started to publish from the very first day.