Fear

 I am afraid that I'll be done before I have even started. I am afraid that I will be consumed by these domestic chores, I'll be confined to the movie nights and sleepovers. I am afraid that I won't create anymore. It's been long since I have created anything. I think now is the time, to create again. 

This life, the people around me, the relationships, the travels- are the identity of my life. They define me, they change me, they construct me, they teach me. But there is also this hunger in my mind, this longing for something more...how can I deny this hunger when it is always on the back of my mind like a bee humming inside my ear- all the time. I don't know what this wants to say- I don't know where it wants to take me- but it is there. Constantly, 24/7- like a flashy diner in front of my bedroom. And when I truly try to listen to this humming, thousands of other noises overwhelm me- telling me how other noises are more important than this hum. Yet, other noises come and go, but this hum stays.

It's like I am a fucking Elsa from Frozen.

The fear, how can I trash the fear? And even if I can trash the fear, how can I trash my excuses?